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Fantastic Family Football League

WEEK THIRTYEIGHT - WINEVITABLE WITH A WINE AND WODKA CHASER

The 2010 season and auction starts here

In week 1 I likened manager Smugs to a gnat with the potential to turn into a wasp. His true yellow and black colours were forecast by some as early as the election (bloody election) auction when the managers from the Midlands voiced their disapproval way back in week 0. Even if, from week 1, we'd have introduced the ban on transferring players straight onto the pitch for top 5 teams, and the Super-Duper-Captain system it wouldn't have made much difference. That's because manager Smugs is a jammy git and the players he placed on the bench in week 3 during the first transfer window would have scored only 10 points less than his final squad. All dispairingly hilarious as though it was meant to be. So all credit, all £100 of it, to a new FFFL Champion - manager Simon and his Cosmos.

Although the new season's rules did little to affect the new champ it had an awesome affect on the rest of the league with managers coming and going from the top 5 as though it was a strip club manned by a squad of flabby geriatrics (a perfect fetish fit for manager Smugs). If you could be bothered to manage your squad you were in it to win it, unlike manager Mel and that other one...you know the one with the hairy arse... Terry... Milo.. Tyson... well whatever his name is. Those that tended to their team like a rose garden and of note were managers Mal, Steve, Chris, Dave and of course our 2nd and 3rd place champeens managers Alan and Shenna. Congratulations to you both and enjoy your respective celebratory glasses of wine and vodka. You deserve them. Commiserations to manager Mal who was just 1 point away from finishing a single place behind his nearest and dearest. Well at least you beat the Chav by 10 points and 2 spots.

I have to say I've really enjoyed the season and have been impressed with the Hibert contingent who joined the league and added some exciting rivalry (and comments) to the mix. I hope you can all make it back next season and if you have any ideas for making the league better I am duty bound to listen. Finally - look out for the FFFL limo as it journeys down south around the 28th May to award the league prizes and please contact my PA for a copy of the protocol with special reference to 93.2.1 "How to serve cakes to FFFL officials". For the last time this season - Your most humble servant,

signed Secretary Linus Hibert - Sunday 09th of May 2010 10:38PM

manager Dave - Mon 10 May 9:03am

Congrats Manager Simon and Alan for finishing 1st and 2nd respectively and a massive thanks to Linus Hibert for making it all happen. See you all next season fellow Managers!!

manager Mal - Wed 12 May 7:40pm

Yeh i 2nd that , well done Simon, Dave and my other half for a great contest, all i can say is Bring it on for next season, and a Big Up for our Securtary Linus Hibert for a splendid job on the administration side of the competition., Cant wait for next season.. 
P.S. It was nice beating the ex champion and Chav fron the rough end of Rushden !

manager Mal - Wed 12 May 7:42pm

Sorry Dave but i ment Alan, Blame the Stella !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAVE YOUR SAY...blah....blah....blah

week: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 this week ['08 '10]

monkey:

manager Simon's head looking happy because they are

Manager of the Year

manager Alan's head looking happy because they are

Manager of the Month

manager Scott's head looking happy because they are

Manager of the Week

manager Dave's head looking happy because they own the

Player of the Year

manager Mal's head looking happy because they own the

Player of the Week

WEEK 38 OF 38 - THE YEAR'S POINTS

	team	mins	goals	assists	goals let in	pens saved	pens missed			saves	bonus	SDC	points
1	Simon's Cosmos 74	25553	66	49	342	3	2	28	1	105	135	0	1373
2	Alan's Alpayetal	25127	30	32	336	1	2	32	2	125	75	126	1265
3	Shenna's Silent Winners	21747	66	44	284	2	0	40	1	59	141	67	1255
4	Meth's Mob	23942	39	32	333	2	2	40	1	105	111	195	1240
5	Mal's I Hate Mike Ashley Utd	28660	33	26	430	2	0	48	3	91	97	122	1239
6	Scott's Team Bean	28151	35	41	408	1	1	39	3	80	90	84	1233
7	Steven-age Borough	27293	61	36	376	0	3	31	1	108	118	11	1229
8	Dave's Dynamos	21793	42	21	270	3	3	25	2	96	84	196	1228
9	Vicky's Weeblebee FC	26348	43	26	369	1	1	34	3	100	91	98	1199
10	Nichola's Fergie's Foes	28044	46	26	405	0	0	43	3	134	81	16	1187
10	Lee's Battenburgers	24271	51	29	284	0	1	26	0	141	84	18	1187
12	Nix' Pix	24177	29	26	294	1	0	45	4	66	78	168	1179
13	Tyler's Merry Men	23845	25	37	313	0	1	32	1	121	65	129	1101
14	Mels-a-Velsa	19364	30	32	292	0	1	29	0	54	71	120	979

WEEK 38 OF 38 - THE WEEK'S POINTS

	team	mins	goals	assists	goals let in	pens missed		saves	bonus	SDC	points
1	Scott's Team Bean	900	3	2	11	0	3	0	2	5	52
2	Nichola's Fergie's Foes	764	3	1	10	0	1	1	2	4	51
3	Vicky's Weeblebee FC	1007	2	0	14	0	0	3	5	2	49
4	Alan's Alpayetal	858	1	1	9	0	2	3	3	0	47
5	Shenna's Silent Winners	603	3	1	5	0	2	0	10	0	44
6	Simon's Cosmos 74	534	2	2	6	0	0	0	6	0	42
7	Lee's Battenburgers	787	2	1	10	0	2	4	3	5	41
8	Mal's I Hate Mike Ashley Utd	727	1	1	11	0	0	0	3	9	40
9	Dave's Dynamos	684	0	0	4	0	0	3	4	2	38
10	Nix' Pix	803	0	0	9	0	1	2	0	8	35
11	Meth's Mob	893	1	1	13	1	3	4	3	0	32
12	Tyler's Merry Men	720	2	0	9	0	0	3	2	0	31
13	Steven-age Borough	741	0	1	12	0	1	9	1	0	28
14	Mels-a-Velsa	394	0	3	9	0	1	4	0	0	22

WEEK 38 OF 38 - THE MONTH'S POINTS

	team	mins	goals	assists	goals let in	pens saved	pens missed			saves	bonus	SDC	points
1	Alan's Alpayetal	3763	5	7	47	0	0	7	1	11	12	13	199
2	Nichola's Fergie's Foes	3456	9	3	49	0	0	6	0	20	13	8	181
3	Mal's I Hate Mike Ashley Utd	3288	5	5	48	0	0	4	0	4	13	18	163
4	Vicky's Weeblebee FC	3117	5	2	51	0	0	1	0	16	6	23	160
5	Scott's Team Bean	3355	4	5	45	1	0	4	0	22	12	5	153
6	Dave's Dynamos	2641	4	2	28	0	0	1	0	19	22	10	149
7	Meth's Mob	3571	6	2	43	0	1	8	0	14	19	2	145
8	Nix' Pix	3302	3	0	40	0	0	7	0	10	3	20	144
8	Shenna's Silent Winners	2405	8	5	26	0	0	4	0	2	24	0	144
10	Lee's Battenburgers	2739	2	3	27	0	0	4	0	15	8	14	139
11	Simon's Cosmos 74	2358	8	4	42	0	0	2	0	7	17	0	127
12	Steven-age Borough	3458	1	3	45	0	0	4	0	15	3	0	114
13	Tyler's Merry Men	2747	3	2	34	0	0	3	0	12	5	4	105
14	Mels-a-Velsa	1722	3	6	22	0	1	2	0	10	8	2	102

FFFL rules and regulations

REASONS WHY PLAYERS GET POINTS	Points
For playing in a game	1
For playing at least 60 minutes in a game (includes playing points mentioned above)	2
For each goal scored by your goalkeeper or defenders	6
For each goal scored by your midfielders	5
For each goal scored by your forwards	4
For each goal assist	3
For your goalkeeper / defender conceding 0 goals (must also play at least 60 minutes)	4
For your midfielder conceding 0 goals (must also play at least 60 minutes)	1
For every 3 shot saves made by your goalkeeper	1
For every penalty save	5
For every penalty miss	-2
Bonus points for the best players in a match	1-3
For every 2 goals conceded by your goalkeeper or defenders	-1
For every yellow card	-1
For every red card (includes any yellow card points)	-3

If a player receives a red card, they will continue to be penalised for goals conceded by their team.

Some players scores will not be finalised by the FA when our league tables are updated on Sunday night (e.g. contentious goals, assists and bonus points can sometimes take a couple of days to be decided by the FA). These players will pick up their missing points when the league is updated the following Sunday. This could affect the SDC bonus and result in managers receiving less points than they are owed but this is outwith the control of the FFFL and a risk to all managers therefore no allowance will be made for this and points obtained by the FFFL will be final. This will not affect players in the top 5 who receive no SDC bonus.

THE SUPER-DUPER-CAPTAIN SYSTEM
Positions 1-5 in the league: Single points for your captain
Positions 6-10 in the league: Double points for your super captain
Positions 11-14 in the league: Treble points for for your super duper captain
Managers can change their captain between Sunday at 6pm and Monday at 7.45pm any week of the season. The captain will then be active from Monday 7.45pm until the captain is changed.

TRANSFERS AND SUBSTITUTES
There will be two transfer windows: One in the first half of September. One in the first half of February. Each window will allow all managers to add up to three new players to their team who will be placed on the substitutes bench. Substitutions can be made between Sunday at 6pm and Monday at 7.45pm any week of the season. Teams in the top 5 will not be able to make substitutions. During the transfer window the manager at the bottom of the league will have first dobs for all players and then we'll move up the league manager by manager. All transfers are free. For managers with tied points the manager with the least played minutes will choose first.

PRIZES
1st place = £100 smackers
2nd place = £30 smoochies
3rd place = £10 money back
The following managers are tight gits who need to pay up promptly: Steve, Tyler, Nichola, Scott, Dave, Vicky, Mel and the Pieman

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